i typed this awhile ago. i think this is very fitting for some people. enjoy<3, jhoelle.
LIE: He completes me
Truth: Only you can complete yourself.
"He completes me" is one of the scariest things i’ve ever said or heard come out of a woman’s mouth. Seriously. these words give away a woman’s power, self-respect, & self-worth. Believing & uttering these 3 words, is very damaging to the very core of one’s spirit, yet many of us believe it’s one of the biggest compliments we can bestow on a partner. We’re either oblivious or in denial, so we avoid the truth—“he completes me” which really translates to —> “i need a man! i need someone to take care of me & make me whole. i cannot be happy alone.”
A woman who needs such a claim believes, consciously or not, that without a man to complete her that she is inadequate, that she is not enough, that she offers that world & herself falls short.
Truth be told, I once believed this lie myself. I even felt jealous as other women, from either friends or actresses in movies, proclaimed their “love” through those 3 words—“he completes me.” I can pinpoint me thinking to myself, “holy fuck..lucky her! i wish i had that.." But because i didn’t understand how ridiculous it had penetrated my belief system, i was only blinded to its effect on my decisions. i was way in over my head..but how many of us girls do this?? trust me, TONS.
Forreals, the thought that a man can complete us is weird, but since when does rational thought apply to “love”?? sooooooo, questions yourselves—
- if you truly believe a man actually completes you, what happens if he leaves, voluntarily or involuntarily??
- Do you become half a person or three quarters of a soul??
the truth of the matter is that living with this lie means living the majority of your life believing that you are not enough. NOT TRUE. you deserve more—i think we all do whether you are a guy or a girl. the totality of each person’s unique spirit is amazing—to never find yours would be such a big loss for yourself. you owe yourself much more.
i’m not here to rain on anyone’s parade, to burst their bubble of their perfect relationship, to be a hater..nope, none of that. my point is —-
it’s important to understand that “COMPLETE” is NOT the same as “ENHANCE.”
finding a partner who enhances our life is essential. Meeting a man who has qualities we want to develop in ourselves can be a big part of our personal discovery. COMPANION, TEACHER, LOVER
In case you are skeptical or angry with what i’m saying, that’s totally fine with me..so be it. i’m just saying. Feel the energy that goes into, “he completes me” & compare THAT to “we’re stronger together.” The first statement limits whereas the second opens. “completes me” takes one person’s energy & pushes it into the places in the other person that are empty. “Stronger together” is expansive & the energy in this relationship only builds because it’s not being spent on filling in the other person’s emptiness.
it’s kinda like that Ne-yo song, "i’m a movement by myself, but i’m a force when we’re together."
i’ve come to realize that hobbies, work, school, family, friends, & being single or not should be the elements that fills in the holes in your world. your world shouldn’t have to revolve around just one person. though, it may feel right..but let’s say that person leaves. what now?? you gotta know how to find that balance. it’s hard, but once you find that balance between ALL of those elements then you are truly on your way on knowing what completes you.